Starting Over. Again.

I’ve had many blogs in some form or another over the course of the past few years, but one thing has stayed irritatingly constant… the stark white background that represents my canvas, and the blinking cursor sitting atop it that represents my not knowing what I want to say.

Are you ready? Here’s a peek into my thought process.

In the small, quiet hours I can think of so many things I want to say — things that I want to tell the entire world! — or at least things I think the world needs to hear. When the moment comes, and I’m sitting in front of that cold, vast void that I’ve declared my own to fill, I come up empty. During my daily life, I’ll think to myself about how I should write a blog post about egg noodles, or how I should write a blog post about not really understanding why any given thing is the way it is.

What can I say? The world and all it holds are mysteries to me.

I’ve often used a blog as a way to vent, too. I took a sick joy in spewing out flesh-eating diatribes against the everyone and everything that I decided in my own (closed and underused) mind was wrong. A little word of advice that I learned the hard way… just because you don’t agree with it doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. Morals are not binary. It took me more than 30 years to learn that simple lesson, mainly because I’ve been a very judgmental person in the past, which I’m going to blame with a nudge and a wink on being raised a Southern Baptist.

In reality? It was just that I am was scared to death of everything and everyone.
Humans fear what we don’t understand, because… well, we’re hardwired to. The hypothalamus gives us two options when faced with something we don’t get but are sure is going to kill us, and on present day Earth, everything is going to kill something. Take raisins. For us, they’re a great, moderately healthy snack. For dogs, though, they’re poison. For us, yummy dried grapes. For dogs? Yummy kidney failure. Eat this, not that! Oh wait, we’ve been wrong for the past 20 years and you should really be eating that, not this. In the 1940s cigarette ads used doctors to tell you how ridiculously smooth their product was, and that you’d be a damned fool not to smoke. Now we understand a bit more about the fact that cigarettes, much like the air in a heavily populated metropolitan area, will kill you until you are dead, and medical professionals no longer tell you that smoking is the coolest.

You know what this is? A literary leitmotif.

I’m not going to use this blog to complain. I’m not going to use it to talk about things that I don’t like. I am going to use it to talk about things that interest and/or confuse me, which should offer a deep enough well to last for years to come. For now, though, I really just want to thank you for reading. I probably don’t know who you are, but since you’re ready this, I’d certainly like to, especially since you made it this far.

Hi, my name’s Erik. What’s yours?

Blogging about blogging. SO META.

Blogging is a tricky business. Now, when I use the word “business” there, don’t think I’m making any money from posting once a month. If you are making money from posting once a month, be a pal and tell me how that works. But I digress. So yeah, blogging is kind of weird. There are SO many places you can blog, each one with a different audience. I know from personal experience that if I post something in one place it might not see any activity, but if I post it somewhere else I get tens of views! That sounds sarcastic, and while it was clearly intended to be, it’s like most sarcasm… said with just the slightest hint of truth. If I post something and anyone responds to it or interacts with me in the slightest because of it, that’s a win. That’s a victory for me. If one person reads my stuff or likes my photo or whatever, then I’ve just used this amazing thing called the internet to share a little part of myself with a complete stranger.

That’s why I don’t do it that often.

The truth is, I’m terrified. Sharing something you’ve created with the world means that it’s no longer safe. It’s out there. Anyone can attack it, can pick it apart, can spit on it and belittle it. That little piece of yourself that you gave away is going to get hurt, and by extension, so are you. You’ve got two options. One, you do what I’ve always done, and you quit. That’s the easiest thing to do. Just quit, stop any creative juice you might have flowing, and run. Cut your losses, because that’s the safest thing to do, right? Option two is harder. You suck it up, use the negativity to see if there are things you could do better while still creating what you want, and let the positivity prop you up. In the upcoming new year, that’s my plan.

I need to create, and for some reason, I need to share it with people. Maybe I’m a sadist. Maybe I’m just a guy that thinks he’s got something to offer. Maybe I think I’m way better at this than I really am. At any rate, I’m here to stay, and this is probably going to be my last “wall-o-text” post. You’re welcome! For now, I’m going to sleep. Technically it’s Christmas Eve Day (…what?) and I need to get my beauty rest so I can look like a boss for Santa Claus.

 

Why we love social media.

I’ve been thinking about Facebook’s popularity and the entire social media experience in general, trying to figure out what it is that causes us to become legitimately addicted to it. My own journey through the pitfalls of social media has been fraught with… indecision, to put it kindly. I’ve jumped from one thing to another and back again more times that I can count, and my poor wife — who has suffered through my indecision — can attest to it. Wherever it seemed that there might be more people I could connect with, that’s where I went. That, to me, is the essence of social media and why we’re so attached to it

In one way or another, we are all alone.

Social media outlets have made it extremely simple to connect with people from around the world that have similar interests. Maybe you live in a fairly remote area, or maybe you live in a place that doesn’t quite line up with your view of the world. No problem, there are thousands of people online that think exactly like you do, and all you have to do is find them. That’s the lure of it all. The hope for commonality, the promise that we’re not alone in how we feel; that there are others out there just like us. The prospect of finding a group of people who like the same stuff we do and that wants to talk about it. That’s what it’s about, really.

We just want someone to listen to us.

We want someone to read the comments we leave, read the mundane status updates we offer, look at the pictures we take, and watch the videos we record. We want someone to look at all of this stuff that we share, and we want them to appreciate it. We want them to interact with us, even if it’s nothing more than clicking a “like” button. We want these things so we’ll feel like we are in fact not alone, and that people really do notice us. We’re looking for approval. We’re reaching out to the internet in search of validation. We want someone, anyone, to tell us that we’re worth liking.

Well… at least that’s why I do it. 😉

Insert cliché about endings and/or beginnings.

Follow me on Twitter logo

You know you want to.

Well, this was fun. I’m pretty much done with it now, but it was fun. I’m not planning on updating this blog anymore, though I don’t want to say that I’m completely done with it. I really just want to experiment with other social networking type deals, and I don’t have the attention span to keep up very many at once. For now, if you have any interest in communicating with me or just being my virtual pal, you can find me in the following places:

Tumblr

Twitter

Facebook

Please feel free to hit me up at any and every place. Thanks to those of you that have been reading over the past several months! I appreciated each and every view and comment. Hope to see you all in some other places. 🙂

Why I Didn’t “Like” Facebook

Where's the "Meh" button?

Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t like Facebook.

There.

I said it.

While that might make me a social networking pariah, it’s the truth, and now that I’ve spent a few days with a Facebook account I can say it with a clear conscience. I’ll admit that before, when I said I didn’t like Facebook, it was because I have a tendency to reject what most people are flocking to. Justin Beiber, for example. Now that I’ve gotten a little experience with the service, I have concrete reasons to dislike it; much like hearing 15 seconds of any given Justin Beiber song will give you a clear indication of why it’s horrible.

I digress.

The main reason I dislike Facebook is probably due to the fact that I prefer to remain anonymous. Actually, “prefer” isn’t the right word… “will” is more like it. I am a different person online than I am in real life, to a certain extent. We all are. I choose to keep this persona, this rtik13 guy, online. I keep the real me in the real world. We’re a lot alike, but in several ways the layer of anonymity provided to me online allows me to be more like I wish I could be. rtik13 is free in ways that I am not. He’s my Tyler Durden, if you will. The first thing that Facebook wanted from me was my name. “Well, tough”, I thought. “I’m not giving it to you.” I made up a name (I was actually Rtik Johnson for a brief time) and scurried in, eager to Like the shit out of everything in sight, hoping to make some new connections.

Turns out it’s easy to Like things, but not so easy to anonymously make a Friend.

When I put it that way it sounds creepy, too.

Sorry.

The infamous Like button quickly (and I mean quickly) grew tedious and compulsory. I was amazed at how little fulfillment I got from Liking various things that I really do like. For a service that has blah blah blah millions of people on it, it actually feels pretty hollow. I Liked and Liked and Liked some more; filling my (now deactivated) profile with various interests. Looking into connecting with other people who found the things I like interesting, I found that most of them couldn’t spell.

Of course, I looked up some of my old “friends” while I was there. I use that word in quotation marks because it’s actually what most people would call a lie. This brings me to another reason that I don’t care for Facebook… “I didn’t like you then, and I don’t like you now.” I didn’t enjoy my school experience much at all; I don’t want to know what anyone I went to school with is doing, and I don’t want them to know what I’m doing. Without that desire to reconnect with the past, Facebook loses about 98% of its usefulness. The other 2% (keeping up with bands, movies, other forms of entertainment) is easily accomplished via Twitter and RSS.

I’m not saying that Facebook is a bad service; I’ve already done that. I’m saying that, for me at least, it’s not a particularly useful service. If you have friends old and new to keep up with, then Facebook is great. It’s another way that people can stay in touch and pretend to be best pals. If you don’t have that, and you’re looking for new people to interact with online, prepare to be more than a little disappointed.

In summation… well, David Spira was right.